I’ll be honest – I questioned whether I actually needed a Doula or not.
I KNOW! Coming from me that sounds weird because I promote having an amazing birthing team around you. But because I’ve got an independent midwife, the lovely Virginia Howes, from Kent Midwifery Practice. I just felt like, maybe it’s gonna be a little bit too much.
You can watch the live stream, full on excited video here or if you’re more of a wordy girl – read on below!
The fact is that I am surrounded by lovely, amazing doulas. And I was thinking about whether it’s a bit too extravagant. Do I need an independent midwife and a doula? And I’m going to have quite a few people in the room which again goes against what a lot of people recommend.
But for me this is the last time I’ll ever bring a child into the world. And I feel emotional just saying that! And I want this to be the best experience ever. And the more I’ve thought about how I can slow things down and give myself exactly what I need to prepare for this birth, the more sense and the more right it feels to have the additional support from someone who really really knows their shit.
Let’s compare it to a wedding. I’ve got a lovely venue. I can’t possibly need the good caterer and the gorgeous flowers too. You wouldn’t ever dream of thinking that for your wedding. You’d think:
I want the whole caboodle.”
I needed to ask myself an important question
What I’ve been thinking is why should I only have just enough? Why is it just enough – because I can get it for free on the NHS? Then why should I invest in having the best experience possible? And more and more in birth, in life, in everything I do I think, what it is I really want?
And for my birth, I want the best experience and I wanted to be able to share it with all of you guys. I want to be able to say, you know, I’ve done it now in several different ways in terms of the amount of support I’ve had.
And this time I’ve gone the full caboodle. Imagine if women spent half of what they spent on their wedding on their birth? Can you imagine? It’s not about birthing at The Portland. It’s not about having the most expensive experience. It’s just about having the best people and the best support in place FOR YOU.
My team
And so I’m really really delighted, I’m gonna be working with Lauren Derret from Pregnancy and Birth Essex I picked her for a number of reasons. She writes about birth, about women’s rights, about how important she feels her role is in birth support and how she wants women to feel during birth.
And it really excites me. I just knew that I wanted to have that. And I think that her personality, combined with Virginia’s personality, combined with my personality gets really big personalities in the same room together. But I think that it’s going to be a really great mix for me.
I’ll obviously share the support that I’ve got pre birth which I think is important. Quite interesting because Virginia is on holiday at the moment and so I had one of her colleagues come and visit me.
She is absolutely lovely. But for the first time I really, really realized the difference that having two and a half hours with Virginia has made to me and my comfort levels. I’ve been feeling relaxed, and feeling really understood and that doesn’t compare to somebody who I’ve just met for half an hour.
And yet, that’s what the majority of women get. We don’t get continuity of care. And we don’t know the difference. You don’t know what you don’t know. And now I’ve had a little taste of it, I’m so grateful for Lauren in this position.
And I cannot wait, for Lauren and I to kind of officially cement the pact and she’s going to be helping me do my mother blessing in June.
I kind of feel like the team is almost complete. I’ve got one more person to get on board. And I’m looking forward to sharing the rest of the journey with you.
I’m looking forward to sharing with you what is going on, and how I’m feeling, and what I am doing to prepare for this journey this time around. And I’m loving it, feeling good at the moment.
