We have received a wonderful birth story from the gorgeous family of Eleanor, who attended a hypnobirthing course with Atosa Stedman from Kent Hypnobirthing.
September 2025
On Sunday 14th Bernie and I decided to go on a long country walk, hoping that we would get things moving a little earlier than Eleanor’s due date which was the 20th September. I had already eaten two whole pineapples, endless dates, raspberry teas, kerb walked everywhere, bounced on my ball and had a spicy curry to no avail! But, it was a lovely autumnal day, so we wanted some time outdoors regardless, and little did we know it was the perfect last day together just the two of us before Eleanor started her lengthy arrival!
At 1am, Monday morning I woke up feeling really alert. Very shortly after, I felt a very strong period cramp, for about 1-2 minutes which then passed. Something in my instincts felt different, and I lay awake knowingly waiting for that pain to return, which it did about 8 minutes later; and then again and again. By 2am I was too excited to be able to try and sleep through this thinking my baby is going to be born today!! I took myself downstairs so that I didn’t wake Bernie – if this was really happening, at least one of us needs to be well rested for when active labour arrives and I knew this could be a long way off.
At 5am I got back into bed which disturbed Bernie. He asked me if I was ok and I calmly explained that I think things might be happening, but it’s VERY manageable therefore very early. We timed the waves on an app out of curiosity and there were very irregular, at times they could be 2 minutes apart but then they could go away for 15 minutes. We decided by 7am to get up, try to have a fairly normal and relaxed morning but to start setting up our living room to emulate our dream homebirth space. Bernie laid tarpaulin and blankets down covering the whole living room, fairy lights and hypnobirthing affirmations went up covering the walls, curtains drawn over the windows and all our hypnobirthing tools laid out ready for use. We had photos of loved ones that we had lost around the room so that they were present with us. He inflated the pool so that it was ready to be filled when needed. The room looked beautiful.
For most of the morning, the intensity of the waves increased only a little, to the point where I wanted to pace. I needed to be on my feet and didn’t want to sit down. Bernie called the midwives just to let them know that early labour had started so that they could ensure staff were available to come to us when things progressed. By early afternoon however labour had not progressed. We took walks around the woods in the sunshine to boost oxytocin, and I have such a fond memory of stepping on acorns together to get the loudest crunch to try and take my mind off things! Being outside in the warm sun was lovely and I felt really connected to Bernie, despite labour not progressing as I wanted it to. He kept me calm and positive, drove me to Starbucks for my favourite drink, put on my favourite music etc. By the evening I felt so defeated and frustrated, and the excitement had worn off and given way to exhaustion. I was running on a couple of hours sleep and a day of early contractions! I was so tired and felt really sad. Bernie suggested a candlelit bath and going to bed early, so that is what we did.
At 5am on Tuesday I woke up after getting a surprising amount of rest! The wave that had woken me up was much more distinct and intense, and I woke Bernie up immediately. He started timing them again like the day before and we could see that they were more regular and predictable. I prioritised eating as much as I could while comfortable enough to do so that I had energy to face the labour that was coming. I had a bath and tried to relax while Bernie started filling the pool. We called the midwives at 8am to alert them, and again at 10am once my waves had been every 3 minutes, lasting for one minute for one hour in total.
Our midwives arrived at 10:30am and we chatted through our birth plan, and they explained expectations, risks and protocols of a homebirth. They observed me labour for a while and then offered a cervical check. At this check I was 4cm dilated therefore the midwives stayed, as active labour was now here. For the next few hours we listened to our wedding music, adapted our UFO positions to help me labour more comfortably and read through our affirmations. I used my tens machine to manage pain and has my birthing combs in hand. Bernie was incredibly present with soft touch massage, ensuring I was hydrated and helping guide me through each surge. I found sitting backwards on the toilet comfortable and on all fours on the floor; rocking back and forth. Eleanor’s heart rate was checked every 15 minutes with a Doppler however aside from that the midwives were extremely ‘hands off’ and allowed Bernie and I to stay in the zone, in our safe and focused bubble.
At 3:30pm I was offered another cervical check. My waters were still intact, and I was 6cm dilated. I initially felt disappointed by this development, but little did I know that things would ramp up very quickly from here!
I laboured on the sofa for about 30 more minutes before asking to get in the pool. The warm water felt like such a relief. The intensity increased very quickly and I was soon rocking back and forth, holding onto Bernie and focusing now on ‘down breathing’ rather than the ‘up breathing’ I had been doing before.
I was now not getting any relief between surges. The pain would linger, and only the muscle contractions would come and go, but they were coming thick and fast!! I had a ‘wobble’ at this point which lasted about an hour. I vomited three times which felt awful, and the fear of not thinking that I could continue was really scary. I desperately wanted an unmedicated homebirth and I had mentally hit a wall where I didn’t think I was strong enough. Bernie then decided to put on my hypnobirthing meditation MP3s sent to us from our incredible doula Atosa. I could never me but how much that was going to help me, but listening to them took me out of my own head and gave me something to focus on that wasn’t fear.
I then had a surge, and I felt my body push. I had only been in the pool for about an hour, labouring on my hands and knees, and it took me by complete surprise – midwives too! They initially were concerned that I had pushed myself but i explained that it was involuntary, my body just did it! I decided to self-examine, and inside my vagina i could feel my water sac bulging. The next wave arrived, again my body pushed and I felt them pop – like a burst water balloon! Now things felt very different – I was aware of a head in my pelvis, and when I self-examined again I could feel her head with my fingers! The next wave came quickly, my body pushed multiple times as I roared the most primal sound I think I have ever made! I could feel my body stretch, this was it, she was coming. I remember at this point not being able to think at all, I was a primal being and felt calm and knowing in my body. The next wave came and I reared up into my husband’s arms, my body giving a massive push and felt a rush from my body, like the most surreal ejection sensation! As I relaxed into him I remember the midwife telling me to look between my legs, so I sat back and there she was in the water! Bernie reached down and lifted her up and into my arms, our little girl was here and crying to let us all know. I sat back in the pool in disbelief that I had done it, and I was holding my baby, and Bernie held us both from the edge of the pool while the midwives wrapped us both in towels. I had 15 minutes of skin-on-skin time with her in the pool as we waited for the cord to stop pulsating and go white.
After Bernie cut the cord, he took her and sat on the sofa for some skin-on-skin contact. I stepped out of the pool with the help of the midwives and delivered my placenta standing in the middle of the room. It was then that the midwives were concerned about how much blood I was losing and checked my vagina for tears. They managed to curb the bleeding, and I used this moment to get Eleanor to latch and feed for the first time which went surprisingly well with a little help from the midwives. Unfortunately, I had torn through a blood vessel and acquired a second degree tear which included some muscle fibres from my rectum so they had to call an ambulance for transfer into hospital for suturing and monitoring and blood tests. Within 30 minutes of leaving home I had been stitched and was able to get some more alone time in a private room with Eleanor and Bernie where I managed to breastfeed again and Bernie got to practice many nappy changes! We stayed overnight and came home the next day.
Although we ended up in hospital, I feel incredibly accomplished and proud of myself for achieving my dream homebirth, in the safety and tranquillity of our safe space, just my husband and I (and two incredible midwives!). If it wasn’t for the teachings of our Doula, Atosa and the preparation and knowledge that hypnobirthing taught us, I don’t think I would have been able to achieve it!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us.
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