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Through a Dad’s Eyes: Lessons from Our Birth Experience

This is an oldy but some amazing pointers to share from a dads perspective

Our little princess was born on the 13th February weighing 6-15. Reena (my wife) did amazingly well.

Few points to share for the birth companions/Dads;

  • Make sure your partner rests when she can before and around the due date. Reena hadn’t slept well the night before and she started labouring in the evening. Because she was tired it affected her focus compared to last time but she still did really well.

  • Have your birth preferences printed and ready to give to the midwife as soon as you arrive – have in your mind how you are going to approach the midwife. We were going to print them on Monday night but Reena’s water broke so I wrote them whilst she was labouring. Ideally, I would have had them ready as soon as we met the mid wife.

  • Remember what your hypnobirthing instructor said about changing midwife and asking the midwife to initially discuss options with you first rather than in front of your partner. Because Reena’s waters broke and she wasn’t feeling any surges, the midwife was insisting that she go straight on to the drip for induction, this was in front of Reena and was upsetting her. I asked the midwife if we could discuss it outside but she was insistent that we either go home or she goes for induction (because of strep – b risk) and because she had said that she hadn’t had any contractions. I pointed out that she was 3cm dilated and that she had been feeling things all day but she had been doing hypnobirthing and asked if we could wait 2 hours to see if she started naturally. The midwife wasn’t having any of it. By luck of chance she got called into a birth and we were assigned a new midwife who was more than happy to wait 2 hours and lot more understanding throughout the birth. By the time I got back to the room, Reena had focused and started having surges – amazing! Before going to the midwife, we did some visualisation of imagining the baby would be here doing skin to skin in just a few hours – this helped change Reena’s mood.

  • At some points Reena would lose focus and say it was too much. I noticed she would stop breathing, I would remind her to breathe and also get her to mirror my breathing – this worked each time and she would regain focus.

  • Remember to pack clothes for yourself in case baby poos on you!

  • You have a key role to play during birth so make sure you are not overly tired and have supplies to keep you going. During the early stages if your partner is doing well on their own take power naps when you can, but be by their side in case they need you.

Good luck everyone – you can do it!

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