Today (1st February) is my youngest child’s 4th Birthday. His birth had more plot twists than Hollyaoks and was quite possibly THE most empowering and unbelievable experience I have ever had. Please note that it wasn’t perfect…and oh my days, it totally didn’t go to plan. But it showed me the power I have within me in a way that my previous births hadn’t (but they certainly delivered their own messages and learnings too!). So here is the story…
On the 31st January 2015 (my due date!), my family and I decided to have a lazy day at home however, in the afternoon we ventured out to a local Garden Centre. After wondering around and taking part in a wildlife hunt…My waters released (unexpected but not as embarrassing as it sounds!!) and we all rushed home so I could get some dry clothes. My daughter (then aged 7) was super excited, and my little boy (then aged 5) was very confused and more concerned about his balloon which had floated away in the excitement!
Once at home I relaxed with my family and the surges started over the next few hours. I had painstakingly been planning a home birth with a birthing pool. My birthing room had positive affirmations, poems from my Mothers Blessing and pictures drawn by my children- basically I had gone to town on it! I created a relaxing environment with candles and my aromatherapy oils (doTerra are amazing!), sat on my birthing ball and just enjoyed how things were unfolding. The midwife popped in to see me and then left me to it. My son and daughter were my oxytocin and endorphins, they were so funny and sweet. I was laughing through lots of surges because of them! My mum came around and the kids went to bed and were very well behaved!
The surges started to get closer together, longer and stronger so my husband, Mike, got the pool ready. Little did I know that there was a problem with our hot water and he ended up boiling water in every pot and pan in the house whilst my Mum and I relaxed and breathed through the surges upstairs but then…things started to go backwards! My surges started to weaken and eventually stopped…And stayed like that! The pool was getting colder so at this point we decided to call the midwife. She came and examined me and I was 3cm dilated. At that point I had been in labour for over 10 hours and I knew I wasn’t progressing so it wasn’t a surprise. I felt like I could continue for as long as needed with my ‘labour toolkit’ brimming with Hypnobirthing tools & techniques and with the loving support I had around me.
The midwife told me I had a temperature which was a concern because my waters had been released for some time and obviously, I wanted to avoid getting an infection. The midwife went and left us to it for a couple of hours. She came back a few times and my temperature hadn’t gone down.
On the 3rd occasion she came to see me with a supervisor of midwives and I was advised to transfer to hospital. My temperature was now accompanied by chills and fever. I knew that these were signs I didn’t want to ignore. I knew it was my decision and I was still in control so I agreed to the transfer. It felt like the right thing. After some tears and a 15-minute wobble (aka cry and mini breakdown) because it wasn’t what I had planned or wanted, we set off to the hospital.
I knew there was a high possibility that I would have to have continuous monitoring, intravenous anti-biotics and quite likely, speeding up of labour with a syntocinon drip. All of which would restrict my movement and make my labour more challenging.
As we left home, I wasn’t experiencing any surges and still feeling a little under the weather. I decided in the car that I was going to get in the right frame of mind. I focused on my breathing all the way and visualised my temperature decreasing, over and over again. I was no stranger to the power of the mind so my attention was on visualising my temperature reducing because that was the thing causing all my problems. I was so absorbed and immersed in the visualisation that I wasn’t even thinking about my labour…which unbeknown to Mike had started again and was going at full throttle!
I arrived at the nearest hospital that would cater for my now “high risk” birth and as soon as I stepped out of the car, I experienced a strong surge and had to lean on Mike while I breathed through it.
When we were shown into our room, Mike straight away tried to make me feel more comfortable by putting out a picture of our children and making the room seem more familiar. Our midwife came and introduced herself and at first I was worried she would be quite dictatorial, due to my new circumstances but she was excellent.
When she examined me, she discovered, low and behold, that my temperature had gone back to normal! Had all of that visualisation worked? There was no need for anti-biotics! I had experienced several more strong surges by this point and upon a vaginal examination she informed me I was now 8cm dilated! The journey had been 20 minutes!
My labour was moving much, much quicker meaning there was no need for intervention or a syntocinon drip. The midwife made a real effort to read my birthing preferences and to help me to incorporate as much of it as she could into the new situation. I was advised that continuously monitoring my baby for the rest of my labour was a good idea but I told the midwife, there was no way I was lying on the bed the whole time! I sat on a chair for a while, stood holding onto Mike and eventually got on my hands and knees on the bed.
It meant the midwife had to hold the monitors in place most of the time but I zoned out of what she was doing. Mike and my Mum were with me all the way and were fantastic birthing companions. During each surge Mike reminded me to relax my shoulders, my jaw and to breathe. Mum kept a cool cloth on my forehead and kept telling me to lean into it while I breathed my baby down. No forced pushing just instinctual breathing/bearing down and quite a lot of moo-ing!!
The sensations were intense and powerful and I needed my Hypnobirthing techniques to support me but the sensations didn’t ever become too much for me.
Before I knew it, and honestly to my surprise, I felt my baby’s head just pop out! I remember saying to my Mum “Was that the head?!!!!”. No burning, no ring of fire. I felt quite stunned and waited for the next surge so I could meet my baby. When he was fully born, Mike declared “it’s a boy!!” Which was a shock because we had both been convinced, we were having a girl!!
As per my birth preferences we waited until the cord stopped pulsating and I birthed my placenta naturally. I had about 2 hours of lovely skin to skin with our baby boy and gave him time to instinctively crawl to the breast.
After a shower, I reflected on the fact that despite the challenges that had arisen, I had given birth to our gorgeous boy, Jamie, drug free, intervention free and within 2 hrs of arriving at hospital. It could have been so different! I truly believe that the way I prepared for birth had a massive impact on how it all worked out. Hypnobirthing had played a massive part in that. I transferred to the Ward and was greeted by my lovely children who got to cuddle their baby brother. We had to stay in overnight for monitoring just in case of an infection but we were both absolutely fine!
As a mother of 3, I have found that each birth has taught me a whole lot more about myself and opened up another part of me that I didn’t know existed. It wasn’t the magical home birth I had dreamed of (and part of me is a little sad that I will never experience that type of birth now) but looking back, it was just amazing!
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