This week’s birth story comes from a lovely Esther who attended a TCBS Hypnobirthing Refresher Course with Ruth Warrilow of Flora-Lily Birth School covering areas across Chester.
Thank you for sharing your birth story of the gorgeous Finn!
Due Date: 11/10/23
Birth Date: 25/10/23 (the full 42 weeks plus 3 hours!!)
Weight: 9lb 3oz
Labour Duration: 5 hours from first contraction
Pain relief: two paracetamol & hypnobirthing
Planned birth: midwife led unit (water birth)
Actual birth: midwife led unit and labour ward (laboured in pool, dry land birth)
“My first labour and birth was traumatic, I’m sure now I suffered PND as a result and I felt desperate for a different experience and a VBAC this time round.
I was keen to do a refresher hypnobirthing course and contacted Ruth, who made a personalised hypnobirthing session for me. She was available for questions (and for my moments of panic) from then right up to days before the birth, reminding me to use BRAINS and of my choices, I don’t think I’d have been able to do what I did (particularly through the more challenging times) without her.
I had to advocate firmly throughout my routine midwife appointments. It didn’t help that there was no continuity of care, I never saw the same midwife twice. Towards the end I found myself repeating (justifying) again and again my reasons for certain aspects of my birth preferences, which – to cut a long story short – was to decline interventions and to birth in water in the birth centre.
I had several conversations with the consultant midwife who was happy and very supportive of my birth plan and signed it all off, with the caveat that more conversations around risk would be needed if I went beyond 42 weeks and still wanted to use the birth centre.
My due date came and went… and then so did another week. The pressure was on for an induction and the two weeks post due date were mentally challenging to say the least. I also knew that I didn’t want to go beyond 42 weeks so was happy to be induced on that day, but hoped things would happen naturally before then. I also knew that if I was induced at 42 weeks, birth centre would be out of the question for a number of reasons, which was upsetting because I was desperate to labour in the water for pain relief, but I accepted.
I reached the evening of 41+6 weeks and felt prepared for a positive induction, despite feeling a little disappointed that things hadn’t happened naturally before then.
Starting the previous week, I’d had what I thought was a false / prodromal labour, with contractions that started at 7.30pm each evening and dwindled away to nothing each night, for 4 nights in a row.
The evening before the induction we watched Bake Off, and I had a massage from my partner and started to feel genuinely excited about the next day. The ‘false labour’ started as usual which I completely ignored as I believed it would lead to nothing, but the period pain type cramps I’d been having got stronger. My partner had started timing them as I’d told him I was sure this was it. Because of my previous labour not progressing past 4cm I said I could be like this for days; however he could see I was physically changing throughout the surges and suggested I should start timing them myself and listening to some positive affirmations. I thought these sounded like good ideas (!) and quickly realised he was absolutely right. I phoned MLU and explained the frequency of the surges but that I was coping well and wanted to stay at home for a bit but just wanted to let them know the frequency of the surges and to expect me that night … the lovely midwife said to come in when I felt ready and she’d see me later. I wanted to stay away from the hospital for as long as possible so decided to have a bath and then start using my tens machine. About 15 mins into being in the bath I realised the surges had really changed and I was bearing down. I phoned the MLU at 1am, and this was when it got a little bit stressful, as because I was technically 42 + an hour, the same midwife on MLU said that as I was now an hour over 42 weeks they’d have to turn me away from the MLU and only be able to support me on labour ward. My partner was by this point, quickly loading the car and I was still in the bath on the phone to the midwife. Between contractions I had a full on birth-zilla moment and basically shouted that I had a birth plan with the consultant midwife, that I knew the hour wouldn’t make any difference to the baby, that they were not allowed to refuse me care, and so I would be coming in and that was that!
We got to the hospital and headed straight into the birth centre, stopping for me to boost my TENS machine and breathe through surges; the midwife had liaised with some higher up people and I agreed with her that I’d listen to a doctor come to warn me of the risks of going over 42 weeks, because frankly I was so close to getting into that birthing pool I didn’t care what anyone said at that point.
The pool was full and ready. I agreed to a VE as I knew things were moving and felt curious to know. I was 6cm which I felt really good about, and the midwife said ‘you’re halfway there’, which turned out to mean very little time-wise. Deep down I knew that things were happening quickly, and I was going to meet my baby really soon.
FINALLY, I was in the birthing pool with my fairy lights and aromatherapy labouring how I’d really wanted to. It was intensely relaxing and I felt so powerful. That in itself felt like a huge achievement and the joy of it really spurred me on. The surges were strong but I genuinely enjoyed them once I’d worked out that my vocalisations were helping and to go with them, remembering to relax my pelvic floor. I’d started really mooing and sirening and felt I needed to push after about 30 mins… the midwife suggested I resisted the urge as I was only 6cm. She then looked between my legs and told me to ignore that and push whenever I wanted because she could see the head. I’d gone from 6 to almost 10 cm in less than an hour. My waters broke and because there was thick meconium I needed to get out of the water – which by that stage I was fine about.
I was on the bed, on my knees resting my arms over the headboard letting my body push and suddenly heard a voice saying ‘I can’t, I can’t!’ and everyone in the room saying ‘yes you can, you can!!’ It was the strangest out of body experience as I realised it was my own voice saying ‘I can’t’, at the same time as not recognising my own voice and wondering why everyone was telling me ‘you can’! I’m guessing this must have been the point of transition, as the next time I pushed, his head was out. I couldn’t believe I’d done it! It was a bit of a blur at this stage as I’d been transferred to the labour ward (which I’d apparently consented to although I can’t remember!) due to the meconium. His body wasn’t coming through the following contraction (shoulder dystocia), in the all fours position I was in, as he’d got a bit stuck behind the pubic bone, and so the midwife told me to get into my back which I did and with the midwife and a student moving my legs into an upwards then bent position, with another contraction his body was born and he was placed straight onto me for immediate skin to skin, which felt magical and incredible.
He was a beautiful (perfectly sized) big boy – 9lb 3oz. I did tear (borderline 2nd/ 3rd degree), but honestly none of this felt remotely negative. It was such a healing birth experience after a very difficult one with my daughter, and the bonding I’ve felt with my beautiful baby boy has been off the scale. I feel so lucky, so intensely proud I got my VBAC (with just two paracetamol for pain relief) and am still on cloud 9.
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