“I’m so proud of myself.’

“My previous birth left me with PTSD. I ‘failed to progress’ and I felt I ‘failed’ at every part of the labour and subsequent early weeks. It was a very difficult time for me. I was determined that hypnobirthing would help this time round.

 

My waters started slowly releasing when I was 37 weeks pregnant. 2 weeks earlier than planned- I had only completed three of the four weeks in the course, but baby knows when they want to come!

I didn’t think I was ready to ‘calm birth’ but once I was able to acknowledge and let go of my disappointment that I wouldn’t have a water birth and that I hadn’t finished the course I felt ready. 48 hours later I had still had no contractions and again was able to acknowledge and let go of my disappointment in having to go to the hospital instead of the birthing centre so I could be augmented.

I had a long labour from start of waters to baby in my arms it was 62 hours. So many things happened that were out of my control and I was surprised at how calm and relaxed I remained- stoked that I could use my BRAIN technique to ensure I was happy with each choice being offered. I listened to my mp3s and did my affirmations as I waited for things to begin.

 

I found that my breathing worked so well throughout and managed the sensations right up until I was 6cm dilated. From that point I took a moment to assess how I felt – I was ready for some help and used gas and then onto an epidural as the long labour was tiring me out and baby was having a hard time getting down the birth path.

My labour wasn’t ‘pain free’ but it was calm and happy and, most importantly, it was mine. My choices and my positive thoughts. I remembered ‘I am preparing for a calm baby and a confident mother’ and that just felt so right.

 

My husband used massage oil of clary sage and lavender to help me feel euphoric and relaxed. We did a lot of hugging through waves and he would gently breathe with me or look in my eyes. When things got tough he would remind me ‘remember it’s just a sensation’ which we decided would help me if I found surges too intense. We also used that for each cervix examination.

 

The midwife helped him to find acupressure points for each wave. When things seemed challenging the mantra that floated to the top was ‘my surges are not stronger than me because they are me’ and ‘I am prepared for whatever birth my baby and my body need.’ When I was ready to breath baby down we realised he wasn’t coming and after a horde of people came to review the situation and we ended up having an emergency c section – his head was stuck in the birth canal with the cord partially around his neck. It was the right choice.

 

Again the idea of it being a sensation not pain helped me through the c section as the sensations of that would have normally terrified me, but I just repeated that mantra over and over throughout that part.

Throughout that long process there were teams of drs coming in and out, many cervical exams and plenty of talk like ‘failure to progress’ but amazingly, I felt so happy and calm and it felt like it was OUR birth. Surprisingly, it felt intimate and my husband kept saying how strong and serene I looked and how great my breathing was. I remember crying with happiness when our baby was given to me and I said to my husband “I’m so proud of myself.’

 

It was an overwhelmingly positive birth because of the positive and calm techniques of hypnobirthing. All the special circumstances and teams of drs didn’t get in the way of that. Instead, it allowed my newly acquired ability to ‘accept and let go’ shine. I’m so happy with what we achieved.”