Manager & Trainer for The Calm Birth School, Liz Stanford, pours her heart out at the realisation that her first born is growing up!!
“My Darling Girl
Today is your last day at Primary School!
You are excited (and nervous) about the next chapter in your life! You are sad (but reconciled) to leave your school which has been such a big part of your life for the last 8 years. You have shed some tears and you have laughed at lots of memories. You are happy to start something new but change is scary.
I am right there with you.
The weeks leading up to this point have been busy. I haven’t really thought toooooo much about the enormity of what is happening…I thought I would take it in my stride but I have been taken by surprise and the emotions and feelings are strong and…. I can’t help it but I can feel something is slipping away.
It doesn’t feel so long ago that I stared at you in wonder.
At your tiny little baby body.
Your thick dark black hair streaked with blonde.
Your utter BEAUTY amazed me so much. It still does!
Your entrance into this world was a challenge. It didn’t go as planned but my Hypnobirthing preparation, your Dad & Nan being there was enough to ensure your birth was as calm as possible. (Ok- Nan passed out but that is a whole other story and nothing to do with the birth!!!).
As a first time Mum, I felt unsure about my abilities, I wanted to get it ‘right’. To get YOU ‘right’, I listened to too many people, I didn’t react to my own instincts enough. This was all down to inexperience and not believing in myself.
10 years later, I have a greater trust in ME and a greater trust in YOU but still to this day, every new thing you do or encounter sends me straight back to that feeling of…’Am I doing this right?’…
So now it’s a matter of weeks until you start Senior School and really baby, I am so excited for you! The next 5 years will open up more growth, more development, more discoveries that lie ahead of you!! Maybe there will be a first boyfriend (please God- I am not ready for that yet), a first kiss (you can tell me about it and I promise to react in a positive way…just don’t go into detail ok?), a new best friend (a soul mate, a lifelong friend)?
I know you will uncover more of yourself, unravel all those core qualities I see in you but you are too unsure to share with the wider world (yet).
But despite all that, I know that our relationship will change. It might not even be noticeable at first but it will happen and it is OK.
Perhaps you won’t want to hold my hand anymore.
Or you won’t want a hug when you come out of school.
Maybe you will stop coming downstairs every 5 minutes when I have said ‘go to sleep’ more times than I can remember- because you have just thought of that really, really important thing that you MUST tell me before you fall asleep or it might be lost forever.
It could be that our shopping trips will no longer be cool or that I suddenly become an embarrassment to you.
I won’t hold you back, I want to grow with you.
But today is a day for getting all my sadness for the change that is coming out of my mind and my body so I can welcome this evolution in.
Whatever happens. Whatever changes occur, I am right here baby. Always loving you. Always accepting you and always wanting to be your Mama.
Right girl. Don’t be good, be bloody brilliant…in whatever form of brilliance feels amazing to you.
Mum xx”
